The backslidden Western societies have taken a sledgehammer to the beauty of traditional Judeo-Christian marriage, the very building blocks of any successful society. Every society of history with any success had as their most guarded aim the touchstone of marriage. Any time any society degrades themselves by disrespecting it, they became slaves to those who did respect it. The sanctity of marriage between the sexes is simply built into who we were created to be, and violating our very image is no way to social peace and rest.
Western society once stood stalwart and strong on that issue, but as decline set in through the temptations of prosperity and the appetites of the flesh, spiritual barricades were blown through on our way to feast in the pig sties of sin. So here we are. The divorce rate soars to a bewildering height between sinners and saints alike. Who suffers the consequences? The children. More than 50 million babies have been aborted since Roe V. Wade, and most of those who were not, have been, and still are, being carefully brainwashed in the fine art of barbarism in state training camps called public schools! These have grown up, and are still growing up, they shack up, marry up, give up, break up, then shack up, marry up, give up, then break up over and over. It’s enough to make one want to throw up!
Our society, through liberal media, liberal Hollywood, liberal rag magazines, and liberal legislators have made no-fault divorce quick and clean-as-a-whistle to any couple for any reason at any time. So they marry on a one night stand to see if they fit together, and if not they smile and sign divorce papers and part as good friends. The children born of such lunitickery find solace with peers of the same experience, and grow up not knowing there is a better way, and many times not knowing who their real father was.
So goes Western society today.
But here’s my point. There are innumerable couples out there sitting on the naked edge of divorce. It hurts them that it has come to this, but they are convinced that nothing is left but the doom of a marriage shipwreck. Innumerable couples preceding them took the plunge into those raging waters and have suffered its consequences, especially their offspring. So I direct the remainder of this article to those couples who are poised on the diving board, crouched and ready to take that fateful leap. But wait! Maybe there is hope.
First, I direct this to men. The very first truth to be considered is this: any woman who looks at a man for marriage because his conduct won her affections, becomes his to lose! If he won her, he loses her. It is that simple. Try that on any way you like, it always comes down to that truth. If you married her just for sex, it will be found out. If you married her just for money, it will also be found out. If you hid the real you during courtship, that skeleton will come rattling out of the closet, simply because you cannot hide you very long once you marry. If she deceived you and you find that out later, well, tough luck — she is still yours to lose because you won her hand, not another guy! If she was the aggressor and chased you until you caught her, and you suddenly woke up to the fact that she won you instead, and now you want a divorce, well, that won’t wash either. You’ve got her, and if you’re the man you ought to be you’ll give yourself the brush off and make this marriage work. It won’t be easy, but she is still yours to lose!
Now, to the real men reading this, I offer a surefire solution that works perfectly every time. But any of those readers who are not willing to sacrifice yourself to save the marriage, then goodbye, it’s been nice having you until now; I hope there are some survivors. But those men who dare to continue, please get before a mirror, pull off your shirt and look at your back. Be sure you have a good strong backbone. If all you see is a twine string or a streak of jelly, put your shirt back on and forget the whole idea. I hope there will be some survivors.
To the real men with backbone, please gaze long and hard at that picture of New Mexico’s Shiprock. That is what you must become in the eyes of the woman you married. But listen to me, men. You must decide on a location where your Shiprock will sit as an immovable monolith. Get the location wrong and you will lose her. That is exactly how it is in real estate: success is in “location, location, location.” So here is the foolproof location: turn to Genesis, chapters one and two in the Bible, and look very carefully at the creation of Adam and Eve and particularly how they relate to one another. I have commented on that in other related articles posted on this blog. Compare that with Ephesians 5:25-29, and you will have a flashing neon sign telling you exactly where to park your Shiprock. In that location, and if you will become an immovable Shiprock sitting in it, your wife, being the woman God created, will find shelter, that she is truly loved and treasured by you, that she is secure in your arms, that you are proud of her for who she is, and that her children are also safe and secure in your care. No woman alive can resist that in a man she has given herself to. If you will be a Shiprock in these Scriptures and in your marriage vows, your chance of losing her is very slim indeed.
Sadly, in contrast, most men are immovable blocks of cold granite sitting on the wide plains of ego. They would rather lose everything than be pulled up roots and all from those lifeless plains. Really, such men are out of place in this article. We should have lost them two paragraphs ago when they looked at their spines in the mirror. At this point we should only be talking to men with enough backbone to be daredevils.
Does my solution work? Yes! I can cite two cases I am aware of. One is my own marriage. At one point after my wife and I had been married for more than a decade, we were at the point of near breakup, with two children to consider. The change that came which saved it was not sudden, but it was saved because I, myself, decided to have the backbone to be a Shiprock on the plains of Scripture. It was hard, but it worked. We just celebrated our 56th happy anniversary, and many admirers say we are an ideal couple. Really!
The other one I am aware of was almost miraculous. The very next step in their marriage was a breakup. She had her bags packed, preparing to leave. Suddenly, right out of the blue, and in one day, he became a different person! In a flash, he seemed to “come to himself,” as Scrooge put it, and jerked himself up roots and all, out of the plains of ego, and planted himself on God’s plains of Scripture. His wife, in unbelief, almost fainted! Things turned around in their marriage quite suddenly. That was not long ago. Today he is being a Shiprock. His was the difference between an ego driven husband, and the Incredible Hulk who broke out of his old mold, leaving his former clothes in rags because they didn’t fit anymore. It was the most incredible transformation in a marriage I ever heard of! I’m sure there have been others, but it is not the usual. It is enough to conclude that it can be done if a man has the daring and backbone to be a Shiprock instead of a shipwreck.
To the women, I offer the following rules:
— pray as my wife did about marrying me: “Lord, I need to know if it is your will for me to marry this boy. I’d rather just die than to marry the wrong man.”
— Learn what you can about male nature.
— Find out what men are hiding before marrying one.
— Conclude this: if a man has to bite his tongue or won’t look at you when he compliments you, he will never do it once you marry him.
— Live for God no matter what he does.
— Conclude this: if you don’t marry God’s man, you will be very sorry.
— Don’t fool yourself by telling yourself that he is God’s man. If he is, God will tell you himself. You will know.
— Never chase a man. If a man won’t chase you, he is not worth you chasing him.
Finally, to those poised on the diving board, my daily advice is, wait until tomorrow.