What Christian Girls Should Seek In Men For Marriage

Christian girls, if you hope to ever fulfill your Providential purpose of being born and living your life, you will not see or hear anything more to the point than what you’re about to read. You should grab yourself by the head and force yourself to read this like you were reading the instructions on how to get off a conveyor belt taking you straight into the razored blades of a human meat grinder! Virtually every girl in modern society is born on that belt of behavior and will not escape if the rules stated here are ignored.

It isn’t up to your parents, your minister, your best friend, your teacher, nor the government. In fact, in a very real sense it isn’t even up to God. No, it is going to be up to you alone. You see, God in His grace gave you a free will of your own to choose exactly whether you want God’s good things in your life, or the world’s bad things. You will simply get what you choose for yourself. Before you go one step further with your life you will do yourself an invaluable favor to make a life-choice now as to which one you want. Keep sharply in focus that God’s natural law of sowing and reaping, which all humanity must constantly choose every waking hour, is in itself the good things of life or the bad things. Choose carefully!

Both the reality of human nature and the bare words of Scripture give clear witness to the plain rules for any girl who seeks a man for marriage. Here are the most important ones:

The Witness Of Eve.

Look carefully at the simple facts concerning Eve in the Book of Genesis. When God finished creating Adam and Eve, they stood there in the flesh of living reality fully equipped and endowed physically, mentally and spiritually to the Divine purpose of their very existence as ordained by the hand of God. Nothing was missing, nor to be added later. Now look at ourselves; here we still are today as living proof of the Genesis account! It is inescapable and basic to our existence. Any attempt to ignore or to change it in the slightest is a futile effort that changes nothing and results in disillusionment and unhappiness.

The first rule for a girl who seeks a man for marriage is to pass over any man who disagrees with those indelible facts of utter reality. Genesis 1:27, 28 says, “So God created man in His own image, in the image of God created He them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, ‘be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the Earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over…[it].'” Chapter 2 summarizes and adds other details to Chapter 1, especially the creation of Eve. Be very cautious to understand the processes and priorities plainly stated for even the most simple minds.

Genesis 3:13 states clearly that God used the dust of the ground to build Adam. However, Adam sought for himself a “help meet” (2:18-20), but none were yet in existence. Girls, do you see this? Adam was the first man to seek for a companion. That is the first pattern of behavior toward finding a mate. Man seeks woman, not the other way around! Girls who chase men have stepped out of God’s indelible blueprint, and will reap the unpleasant consequences for it. Girls who pursue instead are unwittingly stealing the man’s thunder, and will disappoint his male nature. He might not even be perceptive enough to realize why he feels cheated, he just senses that something is improper. So here’s the rule: If the man will not pursue on his own as you present yourself in your best light, this is a man who is rather lifeless in his interest for you, and will be the same way after you marry him. Remember, if you have to go out of your way in pursuit of him instead, you’d be smart to drop him before you go too far.

But look more carefully at the creation of Eve. God did not scoop out another ball of mud to create her, as some seem to assume. No, God looked at Adam’s design first, then created Eve as a compliment to that pattern. He put Adam into a deep sleep, took one of his ribs, and fashioned it into a woman suited in every way to be Adam’s soul mate. Notice the sequence: First he created Adam from pre-existing material (dust). Then he used Adam himself as the pre-existing material to create Eve. Adam from dust, Eve from Adam. Adam even confessed, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh” (2:23). It is vital to marital happiness that both the man and the woman understand and accept that Biblical priority. If that is out of order in the couple’s minds, so will be the marriage. Count on it!

How does this apply to you? Just this: If your man doesn’t understand these basic truths of God’s first couple’s Divinely instituted relationship, and will not accept it, he is not going to properly respect who you are supposed to be to him. Lack of understanding of this principle will result in him handling you disrespectfully as to who you are, instead of delicately as a female. You will not be a rose in his garden, but his house keeper, cook, diaper changer, and bed partner. Heads up, girls! If your man bypasses that one, you’d do well to dodge that bullet! Of course, a man dedicated to the Lord, who gives himself to New Testament humility according to Ephesians 5, who lays his pride aside, will behave himself with loving respect toward his “help meet.” You should seek a man with strength of leadership tempered with humility, who is not afraid to be strong, but who is just as quick to listen, learn, and admit being wrong. All hardheaded, stubborn married men possess a sign that is a dead giveaway that they are hardheaded and stubborn—they all have unhappy wives who show it! You will be wise to remember that when you are seeking to have a happy marriage.

On the other hand, if your man does indeed understand and follows that pattern, but you reject it for the modern feminist model, you’re going to be in competition with him from the first day. Remember, only the Biblical model will produce marital happiness—nothing else!

The Witness of Rebekah.

Girls, this is perhaps the greatest point of all for your careful consideration when you seek a man for marriage. Please give this one your utmost attention!

Recently my wife and I were discussing the events of how we met, our courtship, and our marriage. From the day we met I was completely convinced that she was right for me. Our first date was a sort of blind one secretly arranged by a couple of friends. I as much as proposed to her on that date! She refused to take the bait, but her eyes showed some interest. From then on I proposed to her on every date, hoping she’d change her mind. She refused them all until one day she said “Mmmmm…maybe.” So I picked up momentum until she finally said the magic word, “Yes.” Only recently she told me what was happening that made her reluctant. You see, my wife was then and still is a very dedicated Christian woman. With her, the Lord has always come first ahead of all else. (I was also a dedicated Christian or she would have dumped me immediately). She tells me now that at the time she was making me a very special matter of prayer, because the Lord seemed silent toward her about the matter. So finally in desperation she prayed, “Lord, I’ve got to know whether or not it is in your will for me to marry this boy, because I’d rather just die than to marry the wrong man!” She would never have consented to marry me if the Lord had not answered in the affirmative. As a result we are about to celebrate 55 years of happy marriage. We have two very beautiful, dedicated Christian daughters who have families of their own.

In that illustration, girls, is the key to a happy marriage. No matter how crazy about a boy you might be, you must get desperate before God in seeking His choice of the right man for you to marry. If you fail to be just that desperate in knowing what God’s will is in the matter, and if you go forward without it, well, frankly you can hardly miss marrying the wrong man! Again, desperation to have God’s choice in the matter is absolutely vital to the Divine fulfillment in His very purpose of your marriage in the first place. That word, “fulfillment” has an equivalent. It is called Happiness. Remember, if you marry the wrong man, you will one day regret missing God’s choice for you in the most crucial milepost of your life. Just you and your boyfriend is not enough. You must make it a threesome, including the Lord. However, if you put the Lord anywhere in the lineup except the lead position, you are going to regret it. Any boy who disagrees with that lineup is bad news and should be skipped over.

We cannot find a better example of these truths than the beautiful Rebekah of Genesis 24 and 25. Let us consider the major turns of the story. The mighty patriarch, Abraham, God’s giant of the faith, sent his trusted servant back to the land of his birth to find a suitable wife for his son, Isaac, so that the bloodline of the family lineage might continue toward the fulfillment of the future Messiah. Start to finish, God was with Abraham and his servant in this historic quest. Upon arriving at the ancient city of Nahor, the servant prayed specifically that God would lead him to the right girl.

Meanwhile, faithful Rebekah, busy laboring at her watering chores, was completely unaware that God had chosen her to fulfill the signs which the servant had requested of God, that he might recognize God’s choice. Rebekah, in her generosity and goodness before God, was in doing so unwittingly making herself a proper candidate for God’s favor. Her faithfulness and diligence before God was about to be rewarded. There she was at the right time and place, in the company of Abraham’s servant whom God had led straight to a daughter of Bethuel in the very household of Nahor, Abraham’s brother!

But the story continues. Regardless of God’s Providential hand in these events, we see in Genesis 24:39, 58 that Rebekah had a choice in the matter. No, she was not Divinely compelled to become Isaac’s bride. Consider that she had never even met Isaac, had never laid eyes on him, and knew nothing of his character! But one cannot miss the air of reverence for God by all parties in these verses, and so when they presented the matter to Rebekah for her decision, “Wilt thou go with this man?” (v.58), with her heart and eyes on God’s will in the matter, she did not stutter nor hesitate, but simply declared, “I will go.”

“I will go.” Girls, those three little words ring through the centuries of time, for they changed the world! Those simple words opened the gates for the sacred bloodline to flow toward God’s will in bringing a better day to suffering humanity. Every Christian church in the world today is a testimony to it. And not only Rebekah, but other faithful women throughout Scripture also lived lives that spoke similar words that opened those sacred gates, such as Sarah, Rachel, Ruth, Hannah, Elizabeth, and even Mary, who gave birth to the Christ child.

But the grand point to be made of this, girls, can be seen in Rebekah’s children. We find in Genesis 25:21 that Rebekah was barren. But Isaac, her Godly husband, took the matter before God, and soon she was pregnant. In those days they had no way to know whether the child was male or female, nor if more than one child was present. But something was struggling within her womb and worried her. Finally she inquired of the Lord, “What’s going on in there?” The answer she received, girls, should shake you to full attention! God did not say there were twins in there, which there were, but “Two nations!” Two boys, so different, that they would become two nations of peoples! All of that in the womb of one woman, Rebekah!

On this point hangs the entire thrust of this article! Hear this, girls: All of Scripture, Genesis to Revelation, makes the point that all of humanity is born one child at a time by WOMEN, and the quality of her children is greatly determined by the quality of the man she chooses to impregnate her! We talk here of children, families, tribes, peoples, and nations, such as those that struggled in Rebekah. As it was said of her, “Be thou the mother of thousands of millions” (24:60). The genealogies of Scripture speak of the sons of so-and-so, but don’t miss the equivalent truth that it was mothers who gave birth to both sons and daughters. Girls, think very carefully about this. God has designed you with a very sacred treasure—the ability to populate this planet with children to reverence and to bless God’s Holy name!

Therefore, the very first thing you should do when you find a man you are considering for marriage, is to put both your hands on your belly and seriously ask yourself, “Do I really want the likes of this man to impregnate me and become the patriarch of the multitudes that will come from my womb?” (They surely will)! But most seriously and most immediately, inquire, “Lord, is this man your will for my life? I’d rather just die than to marry the wrong man!”

Yes, heart throbbing courtship is far more than romantic thrills, fun, and excitement. But the sobering truth is that you will be populating a planet with individuals whose eternal destiny will largely be determined by the quality of man you choose to marry, yes, but mostly by your own spiritual dedication to God.

So here’s the question for you: In your desperation to have a guy, how desperate are you to have God’s best? It is a decision you must make. You and your children—and also your husband and many others besides, must also reap the consequences.

—DA

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1 Response so far

  1. 1

    find a domain said,

    November 2, 2010 @ 7:21 pm

    Great stuff grandpa! Love it!

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